i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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