When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize