We're facebook friends in real life
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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