Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
no, he came in my armpit
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
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