this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
