He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
