Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize