Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
