Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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