i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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