Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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