I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
