Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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