You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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