I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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