i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
