my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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