We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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