He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
The chlamydia really affected his face.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
