Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
