My boss' voice literally gives me gas
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Randomize
