id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
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