Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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