How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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