She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
