it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
