You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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