Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
We are two peas in an std pod
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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