You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
