ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
