Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
