I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
