I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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