Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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