glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
