i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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