Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Also, beer. Big fan.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
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