She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Randomize
