listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
