haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
