so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
