well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
