booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize
