he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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