So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
