It's Friday. Sex?
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Randomize
