i don't like sucking hair
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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