Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
