That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
