We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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