I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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