I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
