So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
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