Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
