I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
