Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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