My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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