Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
